Life Lessons 101: Why You Don’t Try To Play Halo For 24 Hours Straight

On Thursday, April 15^th, Halo 2’s final online matches were played over Xbox Live. It was as if the voices of millions of teabaggers cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced, as Swords Only on Ivory Tower would never again be possible on an Xbox server. The game was a monumental success, one that helped drive console gamers online like no other before, and had a profound effect on the many shooters that followed in its footsteps.

For me, Halo’s impact isn’t found in the games that it inspired, but in the many life lessons that resulted from it being played. The following is the tale that surrounds one such life lesson.

Hello. My Name Is Joe DeLia, And I’m A Hoarder Of Virtual Goods…

I’ve been playing a lot of Mega Man 10 recently, as the magicians at Capcom have whipped up yet another delightful piece of downloadable 8-bit paradise. As I mega-busted my way through the final Wily levels, I took a quick peek at my inventory screen to make sure that I was prepared for the battles ahead. In looking through my weapons and items menus, I began to notice a bizarre gaming habit that I’m overly guilty of. One that’s beginning to scare me a bit.

There are eight unlockable weapons in Mega Man 10, as well as several helpful items that can be bought from Dr. Light’s lab using bolts. Bolts are plentiful in the robot master’s realm, and the Blue Bomber is constantly picking up weapon tanks to recharge any depleted supply. Yet when engaging in battle with screen-filling tanks, fire-shooting birds, and environment destroying cubes, I often wait until the very last second to use a health tank, which has repeatedly lead me to an unexpected death and occasionally forced me to start over from the beginning of the level. Overall, I’ll rarely use special weapons or grenades against normal enemies in any game, as I almost feel like I’m wasting that ammo and need to save them for an eventual boss fight. Of course, since most boss fights are pushovers these days, that’s really never the case. The only real explanation I have for this behavior is one that I don’t particularly want to admit. After all, the word has some pretty negative connotations associated with it, and while I risk being judged by my peers, I think that this needs to be said: I’m a hoarder. I hoard virtual goods. Oh gosh…I think that I feel sick.

My Top 15 Games of 2009

With 2009′s imminent death approaching, I thought that a look back at the year that temporarily still is would be appropriate. While not quite up there with the likes of 2007 (Portal, Braid, Bioshock, Super Mario Galaxy, Rock Band) or 2004 (Halo 2, Half-Life 2, Metal Gear Solid 3, Burnout 3, Katamari Damacy), 2009 packed quite a wallop on this gamer’s wallet, delivering a steady string of entertaining game tapes and guaranteeing that my back log will be full until I’m old and grey. With that in mind, here’s my top 15 games of 2009:

The Rest Of The Best Of 2009

Before I post my best of 2009, I felt as if I had to recognize some of the other games of this past year. I also reveal how many total games I played in 2009, which may delight, surprise, or horrify you.

A New Look Doesn’t Make Up For A Lack Of Updates…

Yeah, yeah, I know…it’s been awhile. A fall full of excellent games has kept me from updating the ol’ blog too often, but I aim to do so more often in the coming new year. Later this week, I’ll be posting my top 10 games of 2009. While many of them won’t be a surprise thanks to our upcoming Big Red Potion GOTY spectacular, I’d like to think that several of my other choices will turn a few heads.

I’ll also be posting a far more interesting list: the 10 worst games of 2009. Anyone who has checked my achievement list knows that I enjoy renting and playing a lot of bad games, so I’d like to think that my list would be fairly definitive. I also recently wrote about the five best worst games of 2009 for TGR, titles that won’t quite make my top 10 but are still worth checking out.

More from me in a couple of days. For realsies.